The Boston Red Sox have left us collectively feeling like we’re living with a diabetic.
If you want some juice, you gotta go elsewhere.
Payton Tolle, however, knew we were missing out and brought his own on Thursday, putting together a stupendous performance during his season debut against the New York Yankees at Fenway Park — so if you were more focused on the local hockey club’s playoff game, the drama involving your football team’s head coach, or the world’s biggest job fair, you missed out.
Danny Coulombe and Greg Weissert combined to ruin the entire thing, giving up the lead in the seventh inning in a 4-2 loss that completed the series sweep for New York.
Payton Tolle: I don’t think he’s going anywhere anytime soon, folks…
Tolle finished with 11 strikeouts in six innings of work, but perhaps the most impressive part of the start was allowing zero runs after loading the bases with no outs in the fourth inning — eventually sitting down Giancarlo Stanton (strikeout), Randal Grichuk (popout), and Trent Grisham (strikeout).
Carlos Narváez: I’ll always respect dudes who play well against their former team. Narváez sent one over that big wall in left field, marking his first home run of the season.
Danny Coulombe: HOW DARE YOU, SIR!?
Coulombe was tasked with protecting a one-run lead in the seventh inning, but instead loaded the bases before being yanked in favor of Greg Weissert.
Greg Weissert: Weissert didn’t fare much better, giving up back-to-back hits that plated three runs that were ultimately credited to Coulombe.
LOOKSMAXXING/MOGGING OF THE GAME
Jarren Duran tried to steal this award when he almost lost his cool after colliding with Caleb Durbin.
Tolle would not be denied, however, as he looked like a man on top of the world after his first inning strikeout of Aaron Judge. It’s rare that you see that much beef on the diamond, but we’re talking about the size of a weaning calf between these two.
I’d give it to his scream after getting out of that fourth inning jam, but this allowed us to celebrate even more of our beautiful boy.
The Red Sox ruined what would have been a truly electric celebration, though… As they’re one to do.
