The Astros weren’t about to get swept a second time by the Red Sox, weathering a first-inning homer by Alex Bregman in his first game back to pummel Garrett Crochet (whut?) and hold on against a huge Boston seventh inning en route to a 7-6 win. The Sox fell to 65-55, to which I say, alternately: Butts. Booties. Tucchi. Tuccheses?

Cheeks. Definitely cheeks.

His seventh-inning homer cut the lead to 7-6 and gave us Hope. It was sorta miraculous at the time. He ended up coming up as the winning run in the top of the ninth with two outs and one on and struck out. But still.

He got a nice ovation to start then went deep to make it 2-0, then had a single in the big seventh inning because he’s that dude. He also had an absolutely sick bare-handed play in the eighth.

Did some rad defensive stuff at 2d base, which is fun, and added a late double.

Very odd! He started the game fine but in the third inning the Astros started swinging earlier in counts and screwing up his rhythm. It was 5-3 through 4 before you knew it, and Crochet’s shortest start of the year was done. Not great! It’s like they knew what was coming. I’m just saying. Didn’t hear much, tho.

Gave up two runs immediately after Crochet came out. Might as well have been Raffy Devers out there.

He was gifted a spot on first in the eighth inning on a Jeremy Pena misplay and was caught stealing on the first pitch.

For our sake, at least, it’s Anthony’s dong:



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